Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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