Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Obama Getting Re-Elected.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100110 01101001 01101110 01100100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01101100 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01101100 01100101 00111111 00100000 00001010 00001010 00001010 00001010 01001110 01101111 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 Translate

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A praying mantis is very graceful

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Iif your reading this ur gay

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops