How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

A dog is always in the pushup position.

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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