What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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