Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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What's the difference between a horse and a gorilla? Their penis size. Horses have relatively large penises, while gorillas are known to have the smallest penises proportional to their body size.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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8=> >->-o

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A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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#Getweird

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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poopy is poopy

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops