Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops