what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

Colin is gay but toasters are not

Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website?

a guy named bob likes sprinkles on his ice cream.

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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