Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

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A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

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Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

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What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 BIG black guys? The most common NFL Offence

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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