Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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