why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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T u r n i p s

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Ham sandwich

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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find the o 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duh its up top

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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