A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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Your girlfriend.

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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