Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What do u call a bunch of black dudes burried from their necks down? Afro-turf

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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