A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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A man penetrates another man.

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hey guys im gay

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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What's 9 + 10 19

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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