A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

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K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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What? Huh?

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Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

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Women's professional sports

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Ron Paul for President!

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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