Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Sam Hengal.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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why girl die cancer

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-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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