irish man drinking john smiths

A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

Black people.

why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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