Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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when debbie meets downer

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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