one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Tilt your screen back .

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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A black man walks into a bar holding a weapon. He is asked to leave to leave because weapons are not allowed in the bar.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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baloney sandwich

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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SEX

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops