What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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why girl die cancer

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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