A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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