I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

ANDERS!! Thanks for the warnins, I mean I wuld beat you up even when I can barely move, but I just told the doc and the nurse to shut this door, thanks man, would never thought about that if you had not warned me... beat me up when I am poisoned? Your mom replied, it sasy "I do not like the idea" You know what I told you about not right? DO NOT THINK ABOUT A blue elephanT! WOSH BLUE ELEPGANT IN YOur MIND, ITS LIKE SAYING I AM NOT INTEREsted in KNOWING MUCH MORE! Your sister? YOu know she has a crush on me, ill fuck her so hard youul will know when she wont be able to walk straight or sit YES Id meet you, but you know... Ladies first... PS: OF Co0uRse iTS mY dick, in her mouth, it looks wrong because I AM FULL ON VALIUM YOu POISONOUS VENOM I wont turoture you, I mean not physically, but consider this the first picture, and if you want to see your mom and sister nekkid, then keep receiving picks. My skin is tan, yet they call me Black, the cloror of my soul. read below people, I am gonna bang his sistar, and his mom, watch out for the nekkid pics before they get removed on... Rate my ex, yeaaaah... any moment now, dont adress me anymore Anders, becuz the door is closed, and I cant saty awak anymore, nobody is coming in the doc said, its the bald guy with the smile, I told him to give you my phone with the last pic, he said maybe and asked if you wound nt get mad... Screw that phone, its full of your girlfriends nekkid pics anyways XD, he caught me sticking the finger btw, not the rest... And fuck you. Nero, the fucker.... Soon...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops