whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +11

1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops