What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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When you have read this, you've already read it.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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