How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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