Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops