My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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why did the jewish man die answer The hollucost

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops