How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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Womans baksetball...

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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