Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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i had sex.

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops