Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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what are three short words? i a am

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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The Oakland Raiders

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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