Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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all your base are belong to mark

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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