HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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