Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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