A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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They don't call it Bangkok for nothing.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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