Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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i had sex.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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