A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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sucks Syntax...

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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whats black and doesnt work? a broken black toaster

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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