Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Title IX

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

thumb_up thumb_down -13

RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats long and black? The line at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops