How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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