A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? this overused joke

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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