what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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What does water smell like? water.

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops