A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Sloths

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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flavin's head

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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