What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

Shush girl, shut your lips do the Helen Keller and advocate the rights the disabled.

how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

What is brown and sticky? A Stick

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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