What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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What? Huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops