Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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Whats worse then a dead baby? 10 dead babies

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Your life

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Antijokes...

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops