Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

thumb_up thumb_down +21

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops