Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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bologna

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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What happens when you go from a jew to a penguin? A huge climate change.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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