What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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make me a sandwich!

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

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hi bye

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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son, you're adopted.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Winking at old people

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Five guys one rape.

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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