Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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Women's rights.

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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