When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

Where to, sir? Forward.

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

My life

What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

noodles

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

9/11.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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