How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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What's black and white and red all over? An equality parade with a nearby homicide

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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So coool! How did you do that dinosaur!?

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Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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Sex

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops