Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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