What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

That is so fetch

Your mother is so fat.

Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

what to call someone thats gay zak

Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

Abortion.

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

i killed my family

I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...