Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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