Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Womans baksetball...

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops