What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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Knock Knock.

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops