Want to hear a joke? No.

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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ever tried african food? they neither

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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